So many things to fill us up. Soft drinks, shopping trips, busy-ness, work, volunteering, me- time, me-and-you-time, Zumba, or in my case walking……
When do we take the time to lay “it” down?
Some time ago, I was frustrated with our younger son’s string of behaviors, the tester of boundaries, the strongest of wills. My prayers were spoken through a filter of frustration. I was growing weary of being consistent with consequences to no avail. I mentioned to my friend, “Maybe I should get on my knees when I pray about it.” She, a fellow Sister in Christ, smiled to herself and reassured me she didn’t think that was necessary for The Lord.
I agree with my friend. I do not believe Our Lord has any prerequisites to prayer. He simply waits for us to seek Him:
Psalm 14:2 The Lord looks down from Heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
What I have realized is when I am holding onto things way too tightly it becomes necessary for me to bend my aging knees, hear their complaining cracks and set them on the unforgiving laminate floor near my prayer chair. When I crouch and bow my head, I feel smaller. When I imagine Him on his majestic throne, seeing all His creation from where He sits, I want to defer. Physically lower to His holy feet, it is somehow easier for me to lay things there, if I know what I am to surrender.
Just yesterday Spirit nudged me as I was driving, praying for compassion and for my tone to be sweeter.
You are not letting go, you are holding on
My heart, the bullseye for Jesus’ sword of truth left me stunned. With all the praying I do throughout the day, it’s like an ongoing conversation with the Lord, am I not surrendering my heart?
Really? Julie, get over yourself. Stop the mind-racing. Break through the denial. And get honest.
Search my heart for what offends you. Seek the trash in the dark corners of my heart and help me bring it forth, to You
Help me name what I need to lay down to your precious feet.
And when I lay it there, I trust You to take it so that my weight will be less and my heart more open for Your gracious blessings.
In Jesus Name, Amen
Then I start listing and asking and placing. And I go on, until I think everything hiding in the dark corners of my heart are placed in the Light of His Glory.
Layer upon layer of angst and annoyance and what-about-me-whinings…….
Once again, My Father holds His image-mirror up to my face. You are beautiful, the way I made you
I look up and know I am forgiven.
I would love to hear from you! Shoot me an firstname.lastname@example.org Have you had difficulty turning stuff over to Our Lord? Can you think of a time when your load felt lighter after you prayed?
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