Welcome back, Friends. If you are new here, make yourself at home. This post is the beginning of a series on the journey with my husband into a world of medical diagnoses and treatment. I do not know how many posts it will entail. This is an invitation to follow along with our hearts in this mess. If you know anyone else struggling through health concerns, please share these posts. My prayer is that God will use our current story to connect others with Him, and with each other here on earth. Blessings on your day, Julie
Does your local hospital system email you results of blood tests, etc? Ours does. Jason’s email told us his lymph nodes (that were enlarged in October) are now bigger in January.
I am not convinced these emails are a great idea. Whatever happened to seeing your real live doctor to discuss results in person? My thoughts trail to those with anxiety, depression and lack of people for support … another post for another time.
An aura of peace surrounded us the day we walked into the medical office after receiving this email. Quietly to myself, I was thankful for Our Holy Physician for the calm in our spirits. Immediately upon his arrival, the doctor confirmed our expectation that Jason would need a biopsy.
The next staff rattled the security in my soul. The office manager’s role is to review policy and procedure things. Requiring Jason to sign his life away, she informed us of the multitude of things that might happen. Then … she mentioned the preadmission testing.
More testing? I thought the biopsy was enough, a test of what is to come.
She said if he had time, he could get both the EKG and the bloodwork complete today to be ready for the biopsy next week.
This sounds significant. They are checking systems to make sure everything is running ok, just to take a sample of something which holds the key to his medical puzzle.
Jason’s quick-to-accept attitude told me his peace remained. I was the one getting a little on edge. Medial stuff can easily overwhelm me. It is complicated and scary.
At different points since Jason’s surgery on 8-24-16, my heart has screamed at the injustice. Prior to this muscle repair, he only ever had wisdom teeth out. He was the picture of health.
Eerily, the tightrope between life and death comes into focus at the slightest threat. Prior health does not count for anything when invaders move into sacred territory. Your past does not predict your future … ever with Jesus.
Meditating on the enemies responsible for enlarging my husband’s lymph nodes, my first weapon is to seek the Lord. His still small voice had whispered in prayer … surrender. For the past two weeks, I had submitted my soul for Jesus-training.
Training, you ask?
Yes, when surrender is not your natural response to life’s curve balls, practice is a way to adopt it as your own. Words like these have made it into my prayers:
• I place Jason’s lymph nodes in your hands, Jesus
• Please help me release my desire to control circumstances, Lord
• Praise You for Your power. I know You know the ending, You wrote this chapter
Keep your eyes on Jesus. He, not the medical doctors and not the biopsy results, holds the key to your blessed freedom. When Jesus hears His name spoken by your lips or sees His name written on your heart, He will free you:
From emotional burden-
From a Satan-fueled desire to control things you cannot-
With surrender as my theme in prayer, I have been reminded by the Spirit to take deep breaths often. I am overwhelmed at the kindness and numbers of people willing to pray us through this. Wisdom from above says take one day at a time: breathe, pray, knit your family hearts together in love, keep blessed routines of reading the Bible and devotions.
I ask you, is there any other way that you are aware of to be at peace amidst the unknowns?
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Enjoy your weekend. Look the next post in this series next Tuesday in which I will focus on the biopsy procedure itself.
In His Love and Service,