Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and kind comments about my husband’s biopsy. We found out this past week Jason does not have cancer, but he still will have medical follow up.
On a lighter note, if you missed my short fiction story about a gambler down on his luck who meets hope, check out http://www.altarwork.com. My story is called Cash Temptations.
And now for today’s post:
Did you ever get the feeling God was chasing you down with a specific lesson? Like every verse was in capital letters that spoke about being humble? When a certain social media article catches your eye, and it talks about serving your husband well? Like when someone who has known you awhile calls you out on how you like to have control over your schedule …
I have been covered in a confection of convictions this past week. Jesus has been in sweet pursuit of little ole me with a huge message.
Lets’ face it when Jesus talks, it is never small … more like He moves massive mountains of evil out of the way to shine His Light of Truth.
Though I may have started this past Fall with a thankful spirit … thankful my husband’s surgery went well, thankful for God’s wisdom to to get his swollen arm checked, and then thankful blood clots did not meander anywhere else in his body.
Somewhere in the midst of me driving us to three emergency room trips, several prescription pick-ups and frequent physical therapy appointments, I missed His purpose He laid out for me long ago with Adam and Eve. Adam needed company and a loving companion, someone to take care of him through the drought and storms of life. Lord knew Adam and Eve would need each in the very beginning and certainly after their tragic loss of Abel.
What happened to me, you ask?
Certainly, Satan was quite comfortable with my abandon of Godly focus in my marriage. I heard convincing statements in my ear like, “You were never made to be a nurse. Remember your mom said you could never be a pediatrician.”
“Yes!” I responded to His wiley rally cry. Medical stuff overwhelms and scares me. It makes me feel woozy in the stomach and lacking intelligence in my brain.
Wow! Be careful, friends. I can verify how snakes can slither into your soul without making a single sound.
Where was my armor?
My prayer time, the quiet kind, lessened.
Jason and I slept apart for many weeks after surgery, and our devotions fell off.
Envelopes filled with financial stress began to arrive in the mail as insurance announced what they would and would NOT cover.
Before I knew it, a whole Fall and into the winter had happened. My head was spinning with:
• a book that wouldn’t write itself
• kids that need much guidance as they grow
• my husband who was feeling like I was distant
Where did I go, Lord? Again, you lay the path and I wander.
You wanted control.
Control of what, Lord? I know You have control.
You wanted time for your career and more.
I know what I am supposed to do. I am supposed to give it to You, all of it. I am so sorry, Lord.
My love covers all you did and what you didn’t do. You are forgiven.
Choosing to turn from my selfishness and pour back into my marriage, I scheduled a night away for me and Jason as a Christmas surprise for him.
We took time to reflect and hold each other close.
On our date, we read our devotional together. The words below arranged themselves so they were tall, bold and right in front of my eyes. Jesus was determined for me not to miss it this time.
“If a grey day is not one of thankfulness, the lesson has to be repeated until it is. Not to everyone is it so. But only to those who ask to serve Me well, and to do much for Me. A great work requires a great and careful training.” God Calling, edited by A.J. Russell
There it is, friends. The lesson I needed to learn again … to humble myself, to follow His teachings to be so very thankful in the midst of any circumstances. Please join in me in prayer for all of our hearts today:
Dear Precious Jesus,
We thank you over and over again for your love that washes away our petty annoyances and desires to complain. I have felt your powerful presence this week in your teachings and forgiving me. I pray all the readers with any guilt in their hearts and/or past regrets, Lord, will bring them to Your feet. I ask in your Holy name that You bless those who seek you AND those who are too timid or shamed to seek you with your amazing grace.
In God’s Son’s Jesus name,
As always, I would love to hear from you regarding recent struggles and discoveries. Feel free to comment here or find me on social media.