Welcome! Glad you are here. Today’s post is more ponderings of just letting love be, letting it soak. Let me know any thoughts. I am curious and want to love myself and others as well as I love Him…..
Do you remember learning to tie your shoe? Or teaching your four year old to go around the bunny hill and up through the hole?
It took a lot of thought about the order of your steps.
Learning to love requires ordering of steps, too.
The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall
For the Lord holds them by the hand.
Oh, yes there was a part of me who loved my husband and children before I knew God, but my heart was closed up tight like a rose who was too scared of the world to open her beautiful self.
Do you know how pain gets stored in corners and sometimes right in the middle of your tender soul?
I am thankful for learning about Our Loving God. He was patient as I looked up at Him and prayed, sometimes desperately for help, still protecting the fall-out from long-ago damage.
When I first realized His love went before us, I was surprised, intellectually shocked. “You mean He loved us before He created us?” I asked my pastor.
As this information seeped deep into my God-given, He nudged me to open the wounds. With His holy hand in mine, I inched along with eyes wide, seeing hurt and pain I had shoved away. He lifted my veil and laid His cloth around my trembling shoulders.
I am here if you need me. I will walk with you through the past. I will show you how to accept love, the love I have been waiting to give you.
Writing this past year has grown slowly more transparent.
It is time. There is more I want to show you. There are people who need to hear your story.
You know that saying two steps forward, three steps back?
It seems my heart would open a little, then retreat. Revisiting pain is delicate and draining.
Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through him who gives me strength.
Some days I would be an absolute mess, feeling like my old familiar soul was scattered, no longer needed.
In a strange way, I was sad even amidst some of the awesome feelings of love I experienced.
Allowing Lord Jesus to hold me as He walked me back a stony path,
my trust in Him grew like someone sprinkled me up with Miracle Grow
… life giving visions, soft touches, being with people, noticing love in the hardest places … I was in awe.
Then trouble hit, things I didn’t expect, I wanted to run, hide and gain control of things all over again.
Without any condemnation, He allowed me my space and opened His arms when I was ready to say I am sorry.
Surrender, just surrender all to me.
Sometimes this is easy, and sometimes not.
I began to be painfully aware of things I needed to surrender and then would not remember when I was in prayer. Should I make a list, I wondered? Of things to surrender to Jesus?
Surrender to love
A moment of AHHH-HA … the surrender is not just for pain and strife?
Love is loose and open and kind.
It is an offering of Most High.
Trying too hard means our knuckles are still white, fingernails cracked, and we are holding our breath, blocking life-giving air.
When we truly open our hearts,
to love Jesus,
bringing praise for who He is …
I will exalt you, my God and King and praise your name forever and ever.
Supernaturally, He surrounds us with His protective wings, over-filling us with His tender care:
And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love is.
The openness must stay for ourselves, to bask in Him without guilt or self-reproach. His love is ours to receive. We all deserve His love. He called us to Himself, knowing that He needed to clear the pathways in our hearts to create fertile soil.
The more of God we let in, the more we have to share from this place of spiritual nourishment.
When I get overwhelmed with trying to decide which piece of myself to share with which person because marriage, parenthood, friends, extended family, church family…I need to stop.
Let His Love light my soul with a fire to warm others.
When I stop questioning myself, breathe and just love God with all my heart, and soul and mind, really truly everything else falls into place.
Love is pure and holy when given by God.
Let it be in you and through you.
Thoughts? Questions? Leave a comment or share if your heart knows others need to read. We all are broken somehow, we all need love to heal.
Check back Thursday for guest post by Author Cindy Bultema!
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