Without even realizing it, expectations built a ladder in my heart. As my hopes raised one rung at a time, I began to imagine Jackson’s upcoming church camp experience. Recently, I had seen such shiny Jesus moments in our son:
Helpfulness initiated on his own
Godly wisdom in his nightly Christian raps (I really need to get one on video and post)
And just a general peace about him
Chatter about church camp filled our dining area in between crunches of breakfast cereal. The day finally came. Packing Jackson’s things magnified my joy.
Why is it we forget to pray when everything is smooth sailing? A couple of bedtime prayers had been sent, but we should have said the surrender prayer before we left. Instead, Jackson and I held tight to what we knew about camp and anticipated the rest.
The drop-off wasn’t terrible, but the contrast with the build-up was a big let-down. Poor Jackson hung his head in the registration line.
“This just isn’t the same as winter, Mom.”
I tempered my words, “Jackson, please have patience. This is a necessary step before you get to run around and have fun. And from a mom’s perspective, this is better-organized than last time.”
People crawled the hallways. Small bits of overwhelmed feelings began to rise. This was what Jackson was waiting for, I thought. My excitement for him to be walking anywhere with Jesus … but at camp! My cup runneth over, calming my spirit as I pressed through the crowd.
Soon, a growling power struggle over the camp bandana ensued. Jackson was self-conscious and initially refused to wear the blue material to represent his team. The night ended with no family picture, I had to ask for a goodbye hug, and a horrible night’s sleep for me followed.
Awakened by my husband’s back-up alarm, I met His grace the minute I opened my eyes.
Grace turned off the alarm and lightened my tone as I spoke to my husband about my unplanned wake-up.
Grace sent Jackson an “I am so proud of you” letter.
Grace inspired this blog post.
Listen to His message for us: 3 Ways to Surrender More to Jesus
1) Lay down ALL at His feet, even the good things you are thankful for.
Letting go of control of our lives means we will live more abundantly (Matthew 16:25). What helps me to do this is rearranging the way I pray. We will stay with the camp example. Instead of asking God to bless Jackson’s camp experience, this:
Dear Jesus, in Your holy hands I place Jackson and his time at camp. I trust You, Lord. I look forward to seeing and hearing how You will work in his life this week.
I am visual, so I literally imagine placing people and life things into His hands.
2) Admit your weaknesses.
We all fall short (Romans 3:23). Jesus knows when we stray. Sometimes perfectionists will minimize any stumbling blocks to allow the closest thing to perfection to have center stage.
We are Jesus-followers, not Jesus.
Be open with yourself and God about how you lost patience, had several moments in one day, how you avoided people, how you gossiped and the list goes on. It takes practice showing our weaknesses, but when we do … such amazing things happen! He meets us in today’s mess with purpose to display His power and glory (2 Corinthians 12:9-11).
Left to my own devices, this morning would have been plagued with a self-centered, guilt-ridden, failure kind of space. By His power and His grace, I rocked it. Went for a walk in the rain, prayed with Braedon for Jackson, sent the letter to camp for Jackson, and the best part? I feel 1,000 pounds lighter than last night.
3) Share your weaknesses with others.
If we share only our best possible selves, we perpetuate a hamster wheel of self-defeating lies. Nobody can look like a fashion model and treat everyone in their daily path with patience and kindness. It’s just not humanly possible.
Rally your humble stories about how you messed up and feature how Jesus showed up.
I trust God to give me grace because that’s what He promises. However, the old perfectionist in me hesitated to ask others for help, even in terms of prayer.
It is a vulnerable thing to do, to lay out your dirty laundry before it’s washed clean.
Last night, Spirit corrected me again. #nomorepretending After fighting feelings of regret on the way home, I posted the experience and asked for prayer for all campers, all staff and for my mama heart to submit my plans for my boy to Our Lord.
Part of how He showed me grace was through the friends who stepped up to pray for me. #thankyouJesus
Join me on this journey as we let go of something more each day, and place it in His hands. He who holds our future will be so pleased. Let’s walk in His faithful presence. When we trip and fall, let’s expect Him to be there (John 15:4) because He is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for visiting tonight. Do you have a story about His grace or surrender you would like to share? Email me at juleidibblespeaks@gmail.com and lets chat about it.
If these words helped you tonight, please consider sharing this post. I will be going live with more on Surrender Tuesday 8-8 at 3pm https://Facebook.com/jdibble4Him. Hope to see you there.
Letting go of our own expectations and giving them to God . . . so necessary, and yet I fight doing it over and over, convinced my joy in the moment is enough. 100% surrender. It will take a lifetime. I join you in letting go of one thing at a time…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for being here Debbie. Your honesty is Godly. Yes! Let’s support each other in surrendering each day to Our Father we love and trust.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing your story, Julie. I appreciate your honesty and the reminder that we need to surrender even the little things and even the good things to God. It is so easy to think we know best at times but there is such freedom when we hand it over to God.
Surrender was my word for the year last year- it wasn’t a word I wanted at the start of the year but I grew to love it and eas blessed by how things turned out when I managed to surrender. Definitely still an on-going journey!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Lesley, Thank you for reading and for your encouraging feedback. Yes, surrender is opposite of our flesh. I am thankful you and I can recognize the freedom associated with surrender. Living fully free takes prayer, Scripture, and fellow believers to walk with us and keep us accountable in love and truth. So glad we have connected. May God bless, Julie
LikeLike
Ooh Julie, I’ve had those moments with my boys. This week, in fact. When I try so hard to be patient and not raise my voice, and then the boy (whichever one it is in that moment), pushes too far . . . again, and I LOSE it.
During my quiet time.
Yes, God spoke to my heart. Yes, I asked forgiveness. Yes, my boy also asked for forgiveness, and both of our hearts were lighter for the day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for visiting Jeanne. I love how you share your mom moments with me. It does help to know we are not alone, and that He will meet us with grace. That sweet grace lightens our souls and fills us right back up. Surrender is a full-time endeavor. He is showing me how all means ALL. I look forward to connecting again on Friday. Glad you are back to blogging!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Julie, I am so grateful you shared all of this. Some things can be so easy to let go of and then others present a struggle. May we all learn to share our messy stories so that growth occurs in us all. I am so grateful that our God shows up in the messiest of days! Blessings!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good morning Joanne, thank you for being here. Yes, praising Jesus for helping me break the chains of perfectionism that are so exhausting. Looking forward to reading your FMF post. Until then, many blessings to you💙
LikeLike
Thanks so much for sharing your heart with me. By you being so vulnerable, that helps me to be willing to share my burdens with Jesus and ask others to pray for me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Lori! Thank you for being here. The more I follow Jesus promptings on what to write, the more healing happens. He is amazing, isn’t he? If you would give me the honor, I would love to pray for you. You can email me at juliedibblespeaks@gmail.com if you choose. Have a blessed day, Julie
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing this. Your post has really got me thinking, that after vacation, it’s hard to get back on track with the routines and the boys seemed to be more bored, since the “fun” is over. School, is just around the corner and there will be even more routines. Therefore, I need to get back to reading my Bible. Your post, urged me to look up other verses about surrendering. I found Romans 12:1 and James 4:7. Your writings are helping so many others. Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for being here Christa, and thank you for sharing those verses. It is amazing how Jesus uses mine and others words to open up hearts to Him. Let’s walk soon!
LikeLike