I should play more with my children
I should not care what others think
I should not feel this way
Should is one power-packed word.
It implies there is a better way, the way.
Pounding pressure on our spirits … a pot who can’t stop boiling.
The unspoken destruction in SHOULD whispers: The way you are is not good enough.
We all have those cracks where insecurities creep, where lies multiply like Gremlins.
Untruths drag you through the dirt. Grinding your soul down to its bare bits.
When our boys were younger, if either misbehaved, I took it personally. Their behavior reflected my worth as a mom. If they messed up, it meant I failed.
For the boys, it was “You should know better” with the finger wagging.
For myself, it was “You should be a better mom, haven’t you learned and when are you going to get it right?”
Back then, the critic in me was an ole buzzard, circling my soul, hunting the first of my day’s mistakes.
Guilt always followed. SHOULD’s can quickly turn to shame.
Self-criticism is the opposite of accepting our God-given worth.
Very recently, I received a call from the elementary school. Our youngest son was involved in a “skirmish” on the playground.
Oh, my ears were hot as I listened.
Thanking God my husband was home that day, we processed together.
Even though I was upset, I did not hear one should. Praise the Lord!
His Truth led me to these steps:
Yes to prayer and surrender to the One Who Redeems, Gracefully Loves and Forgives.
Yes to asking questions of our son and school.
Yes to deciding on discipline with the intention to teach.
Are there times when you hear SHOULD’s in yourself as a spouse, a parent, or a child of God?
Still sometimes I catch myself in a lie to myself. Last week, I thought something shouldn’t bother me.
That’s like trying to convince your hair to be auburn and curly
when its pin-straight blonde.
In case nobody told you today, your feelings matter. All of them. And if nobody will listen, Jesus will.
If untruth lurks in your mind, run to Him.
Jesus is the love way, the forever truth, and the peace-filled life (John 14:6).
I cannot emphasize enough how freeing it has been to get rid of the trash I used to believe: those evil murmurs that speak to our broken places.
When you clean out the attic, or the basement, wherever your SHOULD’s live, there’s a wide open, echoey space for His grace to shout louder than anything else.
When hard pressed, I cried to the LORD; he brought me into a spacious place.
He is Our Hope of living free:
without fear of overbearing buzzards
without old mind tapes replaying over and over again
with freedom to shine,
to give and receive His grace
to love ourselves and others well.
You, my brothers and sisters were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge your flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command, “Love your neighbor as yourself”.
Thank you for visiting today! If you have any thoughts about keeping truth centered in your life, I would love to hear. If you are struggling to get rid of lies and need prayer, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Looking ahead to Wednesday, I will begin a series on Thankfulness. I know we are headed to Thanksgiving, but honestly this has been on my heart awhile. Being thankful helps turn our hearts to Him, helps keep negativity and lies at bay, and helps us appreciate our given lives. So, it’s not necessarily for the upcoming holiday … it’s to help us step up our God game 🙂