But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 2 Corinthians 3:16
I hit the pits of pathetic last summer. My needy soul stood naked as Jesus stripped away every probable pretense, lie and denial put in place to protect.
Like an exposed nerve, I trembled at the thought of NOT belonging …
In the online police wife groups
In the online writing groups
In the social media world, in general
Part of me wanted to try harder, spend more time online, offer more support in hopes of settling in the sweet spot of welcome and wanted.
Most of me wondered what’s wrong with me?
My pitiful soul stuck in a poor me litany.
Tears streamed
Sleep was dreamed
Pleas desperately prayed
Nakedly waited His glory displayed
It wasn’t until the counselor asked me to write a letter to my ten-year old self that we discovered the bitter lonely root, the unloving origin of fear of never belonging.
At my deepest core, I felt abandoned by caregivers and by God.
There it was. Hidden, denied, well-protected truth out for me to see, to process, to own. Taking His faithful hand, I sought the place where Truth would overcome the fear and the lie that God had forsaken me.
For the love of Jesus, waterworks in the midst of fireworks galore!
THE missing puzzle piece to the old hole in your soul is worth celebrating!
His wisdom flooded my heart and mind, washed my insecurities away.
You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. John 15:3
I am His, always have been, even before I knew Him.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13
As God will do with any tearing and stripping, He offers again the ever-present invitation to lean into Him so close you can smell the dust and dirt collected on His journey to Samaria.
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. John 15:4
So, my dear friends, I share this because I know I cannot be the only one whose past had a hold of her present. I share because He is our living Hope in every life circumstance. I share because I want you to know He sees your struggle and wants to help you heal, so let Him in. He has an appointment waiting for you.
I tell of this because that feeling deep down in my soul of being unloved and unwanted had a tremendous impact on my current life. I struggled to stand firm on Christ cornerstone because my broken attention turned to the possible or real rejection, the social door closing rather than the one opening.
My counselor pointed out “not everything is happening personally to you, Julie. And I wish I could walk beside you and point out all the love coming at you.”
Truly, I had not always and forever been so needy. It was a very specific shedding of the old in a very specific timeframe orchestrated by God. He took care to provide me two friends who walked with me, guided me, prayed for me, hugged me in a healing way. Amazing grace how sweet the sound. I once was lost and now I am found.
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Join me tomorrow for the lessons I learned on how to thrive on social media, thinking less me and more other, a connecting rather than a taking, a circle rather than a race.
Are you struggling with a sense of belonging in any area of your life? Do you doubt your worth? It is only God who can draw us up to stand tall in our faith. However, if you need a sounding board or a prayer, please email me at juliedibblespeaks@gmail.com
If you are moved to start a conversation here, I will join!
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May your souls be warm as your fuzziest blanket.
In Christ,
Julie
Great piece. I love how you showed us the missing puzzle piece as from the side. I pondered that and realized how right you are. The sides are the very structure that holds it all together. That must be whole and of course the inside follows through the finished work of His Precious cross. So Inspiring. Thanks so much. As you say, it is already done, but we must choose to remain in that in our minds. God sent me to Joseph’s story today to let me find something that was a turning point for his rejection and abuse. At the end, when he was called from the prison to come before the king, he shaved his head and changed his clothes. The word clothes is also the word for mantle. So, to me this is symbolic of our putting off the old man and putting on Christ, our mantle. Two years prior, he was still remembering the abuse. Now he is discreet and wise, separating mentally who he is from what has been done to him. God help us all to get that fully, cast off the past and put on our mantle of Christ, connected to the vine, the life, and bearing fruit. Thanks Julie.
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Thank YOU, dear Patti. Your comments bless me. Have a beautiful Tuesday and stay warm 🙂
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Whether writing about depression or feeling unloved – your willingness to be vulnerable and share your soul is a gift.
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Thank you sweet writing sister in Christ. The truth really sets you free, and He wraps our souls in protection as we share.
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This line is SO good: “a connecting rather than a taking, a circle rather than a race.” Just this morning, I read, “In humility value others above yourselves” (Phil. 2:3). Now on to read part 2!
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Thank you Carole for reading. This was the part of my journey that was hard, and I was a mess. I thank you for being a steady Godly sister presence last summer 🙂
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Welcome, of course. You’ll probably have to return the favor soon.
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I am here sister.
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