Bring on, 49!
Another birthday means the beginning of a new year. When you serve the God of the Impossible, there is no limit to what you will see, hear, and experience.
I have laid fear to rest in its proper grave:
Fear of what others think
Fear of not belonging
Fear of not being a good enough mom, wife, friend
Leaving 48 behind means appreciating how I have grown this past year.
It wasn’t that long ago, Jesus busted an old insecurity into millions of bits. A hurricane tore through my soul while my feet stood on firm ground.
The devil attacked telling me I would be alone … again, telling me I was not ever going to have a ministry team, goading me to doubt my calling.
I won’t lie to you.
I was flying home to PA.
Bent over in pain, tears streamed down my cheeks of fire. The inside of the plane was dark but for a few reading lights. Physically restless, I couldn’t close my eyes or even try to forget. The familiar part of this conviction was the evil root of pride with its gangly arms and wicked stench.
Oh poor me
I grabbed a pen and began scratching words on semi-empty pages in a journal. I couldn’t see what I was writing. It didn’t matter. Stripping bare, I had no desire for artificial light. His light was sufficient.
An apology for my unholy, selfish thoughts
I couldn’t stop there
An outpouring of my heart …
It was all I could do. If I didn’t empty its contents, the sickness would overtake me. That spiritual sickness where confusion reigns, and hope is quiet.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life (Proverbs 13:12).
I was not scared to be in His presence in the middle of the dark airplane, flying over only He knows where.
When you trust God, the only fear shall be utter reverence.
I was more scared knowing how much more difficult my life would get if I didn’t pull up my big girl pants and call the devil out in the name of Jesus.
I was weak, physically and emotionally drained from the hour’s cry, words on a page I couldn’t see but I knew He could.
I clung to Him, believing He would make this mess clear, trusting I was more His than I was the day before.
We either go to Jesus or away from Him. Being still in and with Him is the holiest of holy, the soul’s mountaintop every single time. Once we move from stillness, we move toward or away from Jesus.
This day, the first day of my 49th year, I stay in Him, moving ever toward.
This birthday or any part of my life is meaningless without Jesus.
The burning in my veins compels me to preach His truth, share His love.
So in the grave lay fears of old.
I place my hope in Jesus. I speak what He tells me to speak. I go where He tells me to go. I sing His praises.
I will continue to build my faith to be strong in Him, fully armored.
For the enemy’s purpose is to thwart mine.
He will use any means, including haunting me with ghosts of my past.
If you have been knocked down by insecurities, confused about your present because of your past, overwhelmed with doubt about who you are, call it like it is.
An attack from the father of lies.
An attack, whether you are talking about hives or a war situation, is temporary. It is not the end of you or anyone you love. It is not the end of our government, our country, our world.
Jesus has overcome.
His victory is final no matter the amount of attacks.
Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them. For the Lord your God is the One who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory (Deuteronomy 20:3-4).
Each day is a new opportunity to show the devil who is boss.
Be alert and of sober mind. Pray without ceasing.
Celebrate when you rise after an attack.
Sing a joyful noise to the One who is your strength, power and life.
Local friends, mark your calendars for Worship Night at New Cumberland First Church of God on Saturday April 6th. Details to follow.
All photos in this post are mine.
If this post spoke to you, I would love to hear. Feel free to start a conversation in the comments or email me directly at email@example.com.
The poem mentioned here, “Rising from the Deep” is up at https://faithhopeandpoetry.blog
Connect with me at https://Facebook.com/jdibble4Him
Have a wonder-full day for it is brand new!