When Your Marriage Gets Quiet

I don’t know when it happened.

During my walk this morning, I noticed all but one leaf gone from this tree. Its barren branches took their place against the sky, alone with spaces of nothing in between.

Fall begins by enticing us with deep, vibrant colors … only to fill us with chill. The temperature drops as we tighten our muscles to withstand the coming cold. We stay in more as darkness arrives shortly past 5pm. Our senses are at best confused often shutting down as if in hibernation.

I don’t know when it happened.

Our lives stretched thin in a multitude of directions … away from each other. For weeks, after the reports of laundry and dinner made and kids’ schedules arranged … there was quiet.

Jason plays the guitar.

I write.

Jason likes football.

I like naps.

Jason comes home carrying work stress, often unable to share details. Easier just to be quiet.

I am a crossing guard and a speaker. Two weeks in a row, I had to be alone while at home to prepare with the Lord. I was alone and stressed. Quietly, I would retreat to our bedroom and get extra sleep.

Like the barren branches on our tree, Jason and I were separate. Though in the same house or same car or same pew, there were spaces of nothing.

Spark-less, a going through the motions, taking each other for granted.

If God had not stepped in with His mighty power, we might have faced a very long winter season in our marriage.

Unbeknownst to me, Jason was reading the couple’s devotional I gave him last Valentine’s Day. I confess I had not read one entry. My husband of sixteen years began to seek God’s presence as he was missing his wife. Music Jason listened to spoke to him, told him to stand up, stand up for love, for his marriage, don’t wait …

Right here, right now, I want to be clear. Neither Jason or I strayed from the marriage with other people … rather with busy-ness, with prideful goals of self-preservation, with waiting for the other to do something, anything.

Much of this was off our radar, as the devil would make sure of it. satan is that sneaky. Even though I spend time with Jesus every day, the devil whispered you don’t need to pray for your husband, you just need to get through until you go away.

I was waiting until I went away with Jason overnight to talk to him, though I wasn’t even sure what to say.

Waiting without a God reason can be the death of something.

Jason did not wait. Led by His Spirit who drew us together eighteen years ago, Jason began to pour out his heart to me, perhaps like never before.

Sharing wisdom from God, sharing his feelings for me and declaring a new thing in our marriage.

We will not wait. We will not waste our lives.

He will take care of his wife like he did before. He will take time to look into his wife’s eyes. He will set aside work angst to focus on the love he has for his wife while he is home.

It might be cold outside, but inside a fire with new flames burns brightly.

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned (Song of Songs 8:6-7).

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Such power in the name of Jesus. His love is literally stronger than death as He rose after 3 days in a closed tomb.

Where there is nothing, there is always hope. Where there is routine, He does a new thing. Where there is separateness, He binds together. Where there is quiet, He speaks to those who listen.

I just can’t thank God enough for giving me Jason.

I pray this post encourages you. Feel free to start a conversation here in the comments. If you would like Jason and me to pray for you, feel free to email me at juliedibblespeaks@gmail.com.

Have a beauty-full rest of this given day.

In Christ,

Julie