This is my heart today.
Anxiety is creeping up the walls of our home like one of those climbing plants that attaches itself to a structure, for better or for worse.
Breathe. Pray. Peace like a river, Lord.
My eyes sprung open at 3:30am. Too early, I told myself. Whatever am I going to accomplish at this hour when my first class does not begin until 6pm?
Tossed and turned, trying to pray.
This inability to pray is new to me. I love my Lord. I talk to Him all day.
But in my soul, in that hidden place with Him, I couldn’t relax and abide.
It seemed each early morning minute was hours long. All that I could “see” in my mind what lay ahead.
~a needy puppy
~PSSA’s for our distance learner Jackson (totally did not expect his anxiety about returning to the school building)
~physical therapy after school
~household duties (we are out of bread and low on milk)
~rain, rain, rain go away
~my first class (by the time I am done with seminary, I will have had many first classes and only one last class)
Oh Lord, I need You.
I think I heard my husband chuckle at my prayer last evening:
Lord, I need Your help with school, to be a better mom to Braedon and Jackson and Rocko, to be a better wife. Lord, I just need Your help.
Chuckle or no chuckle, I gotta return to the One who loved me first. When I cannot run to the Cross, I will crawl and whisper Lord.
There are believers who do not pray simple prayers. Every prayer is long, wordy, drawn out with their own instructions to heaven, perhaps disguised as they quote Scripture.
When I am in the presence of these prayers, the devil draws me out of my Refuge and Strength where I surrender to add more, do more, pray more.
Ugh. I place that spirit of condemnation, that spirit of competition under my feet.
The devil does not discriminate. Just like our Rocko who pushes his nose into a closing door because he wants in, so will the devil persist, add pressure, until our soul is condensed to feeling small … and alone.
The Good News is Our Father in Heaven chose Jews and chose the rest of us.
Let us stand like Peter on the truth that our God does not show favoritism (Acts 10:34). I thank God for His clarity. With Him, we never have to guess where we stand.
Will He accept and hear my simple prayer?
I testify that He has heard and answered favorably many of my simple prayers.
For it is not the words we pray or the sounds we groan, it is the position of our heart when coming to His throne.
How slimy and sneaky the devil is to woo us away from humility, even in prayer.
There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil, first for the Jew, then for the Greek, but glory and honor, and peace for everyone who does good, first for the Jew, then for the Greek. For God does not show favoritism (Romans 2:9-11).
So, Lord, I need You.
I need You more than yesterday.
I love You that You saved me and gave me life everlasting.
I love You with a heart that needs lots of washing.
May Your name receive honor, glory and praise this given day.
In Jesus name, Amen.
But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble” (James 4:6).
If we remain in need of our Lord, instead standing upon what we know, we will please Our Father.Tweet
I want to please God. Though I stumble, as a pastor prayed yesterday, I get back up because God calls me back. He always calls us back into His arms of grace and mercy.
Good morning and welcome to this place where I share truth, both the truth of who I am and the truth of who He is, for I wouldn’t be me without Jesus.
Thank you for all readers here.
May God bless you with peace and grace as you navigate your Monday.
All photos in this post are from Pixabay.com.
Love in Christ,