You could be having the best day ever … night will come.
You could close all curtains, pull all the blinds, turn on all the lights in the house … the night will still come, like a thief.
I used to fight with night. Insomnia started in my young teens. Worry propped open my eyelids. Fear ramped up the adrenaline. Never ready, always hidden.
Ready for what, you ask?
I refused to believe darkness would end. Oddly, it was comfort for me to hunker down in the depths of blankets upon blankets. The physical sense of something heavy covering me, imaginary protection. If no one could find me, they couldn’t hurt me.
Sometimes, I lulled myself to sleep by counting, or running so many idea tracks, exhaustion would claim me, for a limited time only.
I was never ready for the next day, much the same as the last. I didn’t know of His new mercies. Hope scratched the surface as I painted on fake smiles or went to the mall for a new outfit.
Now, this given day, as my heart belongs to the Lord, sometimes I am just not ready for the night to come. His will says the night will come. His whisper breathes in my blocked ears, not gospel-blocked, but pain like I am getting a cold. His mighty right hand lifts my park-worn feet to the bed.
It’s not that I fear rest, but there is something about darkness I cannot shake.
It looms over our bathroom where illness is present.
It doesn’t leave quick enough in the morning, making the first couple potty breaks for Rocko in the dark.
I can’t see without readers in the day, which means I really can’t see in the dark. Lacking night goggles and the desire to see better in the dark.
When the night comes, what do you do? What is your night’s rhythm? :
Out of Sync, A Poem
I long for Jesus to be my 24 hour-rhythm
living water flowing … filled with Him
no matter the blackness of night
or the sweet rise of His morning light.
Just Jesus, in and through my veins
Straining my eyes toward Kingdom gains
Washed clean again
Just hold me, Jesus,
For You are my beginning and my end
Thank you for joining me here. I need to get to sleep but wanted to share a glimpse of our season of struggle. Our family is alive and well, though we are struggling to stay in step with His beautiful peace and grace.
One day, one prayer at a time.
Be strong in Him. Be wise to rest when He calls you to rest. Be ever discerning lies from His truth.
In His Service and Love,