God knew I went to bed with a heavy heart. Depression is a state of being in which one must receive healing, a renewal, a rebirth. Until your loved one is willing to receive ALL that the Lord offers, you swallow your tears and your pride, and you lift the person to God’s hands … and then let go.
At first entry into the air this morning, a fresh fullness met every aching crack in my physical body and in my weary soul. Looking up, I thanked God.
As His wind tousled my thinning hair, I just imagined it was the breath of Jesus upon me. Peace, He gives.
It felt incredible.
I walked 5,184 steps today, according to the Health app on the new Apple phone. Please note I am not an obsessive self-step-tracker. But God uses that app to motivate me to move my body. For too many years running, my job and studies have bound me to a chair.
This is the view from a high point in Lemoyne, PA overlooking the Susquehanna River toward the city of Harrisburg, our capitol.
As I walked this morning, my eyes and heart were widened with wonder. A constant breeze does not happen too often around here, except maybe in the context of a summer storm. If there was a lull in the air flow, it was but a second.
Gentle yet firm wafting over me.
I imagined the city of Harrisburg was the new Jerusalem, that my time had come to be united with my bridegroom.
Hope swelled in the sorry places of my mama heart.
Later, after the dinner hour, without the pup, I went for another walk. Still the breeze was strong and noticeable, disallowing any sweat or complaints of the heat.
I leaned in to the intricacies of His design:
Every detail from the hue of greens and yellows to the size and shape of leaves and blossoms, God chose. Just as He has chosen us. I am standing upon His promise that no one, no thief, no devil can take my son out of Jesus’s hand, that God knows every hair on Jackson’s head and gave it its blond color.
“My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand” (John 10:29, ESV).
These purply flowers caught my attention. I had to literally step into someone’s yard to get the right vantage point for the picture. I figured since I risked trespassing, I better share it with you:
As I rounded the corner, the walk was nearing its end. But the freshness of the air and His Son shining made me pause yet again. The light cast onto the street brought to mind that His glory is coming. And oh how it will mightily surpass the workings of any human mind:
And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before Him who is seated on the throne and worship Him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne saying, “Worthy are You, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they existed and were created” (Revelation 4:9-11, ESV).
It is now 9:21pm here in Central Pa. I am unsure if His wind is still grazing over His people and creation. This I know, God is infinitely more able than us to solve life’s problems, no matter what they are.
Would you join me in trusting Him not only with our lives, but also with the lives of our loved ones?
Thank you for joining me here. It is where I cannot help but be honest. I gave up pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t a long time ago. I thank you for listening to the low level woes and the God-given highs.
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Love in Christ,